#Verizon Wireless has a commercial that has been around for several years with a cell signal tester walking around hundreds of places asking, "Can you hear me now?" and then saying, "Good." We don't really know what the person on the other end of the line said. All we know for sure is that he asked the question and was then happy with the answer or lack of answer that he got. Communication is much the same way for some people. There are a number of people that are perfectly content with simply throwing their message out there and not getting, or not caring about, the response from the listener(s). Communication, even in a mass setting, is not intended to be one-sided. It is intended to be interactive, complex, symbolic, and completely unavoidable.
It is interactive in that true communication isn't happening unless there is a sender, a receiver, and a channel through which the message travels. The premise of the real story on communication is that the sender creates and encodes (puts their own meaning into) a message. That message is then sent via a channel to a receiver, or to lots of receivers. Ideally, the sender has considered the needs and past experiences of the receiver(s) in order to ensure that his/her message is easily received, decoded, and understood. It is also important to consider what channel is the best based on the sender's target audience. When the receiver gets the message, they interpret or decode it by apply the meaning that they have placed on past, similar, experiences to this instance. They then send feedback to the original sender which will verify whether or not the intended message was correctly understood.
This process is a circular flow of communication from sender through a channel to the receiver and back through a channel to the original sender. Hearing a person has more to do with understanding the intent of the message than it does hearing the actual words that are said. When we put meaning behind the tone of voice, body language, and facial expressions, we are decoding the message and making it mean something to us. The only way that the original sender knows if they were effective is to receive feedback. So, just like "Verizon Man," we are continuously watching and listening to the people that we are interacting with in order to truly know...
Can you hear me now?
To Your Success,
Jody N Holland
Whether you are in business, school, at home, or in virtually any role in life, you are bound to face setbacks. There will be times that life attempts, and sometimes succeeds at knocking you down. You may lose your job or lose the love of your life, or just feel that the world is out to get you. No matter the challenge, there is a truth that changes everything. That truth is that every challenge, every setback, holds within it the seeds of an equivalent or greater benefit. The beauty of this is that we can rejoice in knowing that we are facing challenges because it is preparing the way for something even greater in our lives. However, so many people in this world simply refuse to see the positive possibilities in their situation. They see the challenge. They see the loss, and they focus on the bad without looking for the good. You, on the other hand, know that there are three things that you must do in order to turn life in your favor.
Never look at the setbacks as roadblocks. Instead, look at them as platforms, or springboards for your greater success in life!
To Your Success,
Jody N Holland
One of the experiments that I have seen several times on social media is that of people putting out something that they know is not true and seeing how many people click like or share the information without doing any research on it. Another is watching late night talk show hosts interview people on the street and sharing the political views of one person as someone else's and asking what they think about it. The idea behind these experiments is to demonstrate that many people are not thinking about what they are agreeing with, nor are they thinking about what they actually believe.
In a conference that I attended in Las Vegas in 2012, the main speaker began with telling us not to believe anything that he said if we wanted to be in charge of our future. Instead, we were to take what he and the others said and form our own opinions. It has been my experience that most people don't really know what their opinion is. They only know what they have been conditioned to believe. When pressed to explain their point of view, most people will simply say that they have always believed that. There is little behind our beliefs except for emotion and conditioning, unless...
The unless is the part where we examine our lives and our outcomes and look for what is actually the right belief structure for us and for those that we impact. Are we creating peace and success or are we creating chaos and destruction? I see so may people whose belief is that the world is out to get them and that others are bad that they create an energy field that pulls those people to them. They literally magnetize themselves to attract bad things into their lives. When your belief is that the world is essentially good and that good things are supposed to happen to you, then you magnetize yourself in that direction.
Regardless of the situation that you find yourself in at the moment, you can choose what you will focus on. You can choose what you will look for. Will you look for opportunity and joy and peace and good? Will you look for negative and hate and fear and bad? The choice of what you seek out is up to you. That doesn't belong to anyone else. You can choose not to believe anything that the world throws at you without forming your own opinions. And, I would encourage you to do just that. Take the information. Evaluate its validity. Determine the path that is best for you and those that you impact. Then, look for the best result possible.
Magnetize yourself for success and for peace!
To Your Success,
Jody N Holland
Every day we are given the choice between two paths for our life. There is a path that leads to peace and a path that leads to despair. The choice, however isn't always a clear one. Our minds have become cluttered with anger and distrust and false assumptions. Our minds have given way to the way of the ego into the truth of the spirit. The choice that we make is which god to follow.
When I woke up yesterday, I had a feeling that there were people in the world that were out to get me. Do you ever just have that sinking feeling in your stomach that others want the worst for you? That was the feeling that I had. I don't think that I am unique in my premonitions of things like that. I just knew that one of my meetings was going to be with people that were not thinking about what was good for me. As I got to the appointment, my suspicions were confirmed. I had the choice to make when I first had that feeling as well as when I arrived for the meeting. My choice was to follow the path of peace or to follow the path of despair. Anger, malice, and negative assumptions fought for control of my mind. After a moment of wanting to give in, I took a deep breath, remembered that the choice was not theirs. It was mine, and regained my power.
Power - this is often thought of as control over others. The simple truth is that power is only control over self. Trying to control others and trying to use anger and negativity to beat others down is the game of the wrong god. That isn't who I want to follow. Real power is just control of self. Power is when I choose the path of peace instead of the path of anger and resentment. Power is when I forgive those who intend ill for me and wish only the best for them. Power is when I control me, not when I control others.
There is a universal force in this world. You can call it Karma, or God, or Spirit, or the Universe, but you can't deny its presence. It is real and it connects us all. It makes it impossible to want bad for others without bringing harm to ourselves. It is impossible to want good for others without bringing good to ourselves. Even though the world would encourage me to follow the path of despair, I choose the path of peace.
What will you choose today?
May you find peace!
Jody N Holland
Author, Speaker, Trainer
Several years ago, I read the book, The Gifts of Imperfection written by Brene Brown. In the book, Brown talks about embracing who we are and who we are meant to be. This includes giving up the illusion of who others have wanted us to be. For example, many young people are told that they need to be doctors or lawyers or "something impressive" when they grow up. But, many of those young people were meant to be artists and dancers and poets and who knows what else. They will often feel that their parents and other well-meaning adults won't approve of them unless they become what the adults want.
When I was young, I knew that I loved being in front of people and I knew that I loved to express myself through creative writing. The educators in my life told me that I should be a scientist because of my math and science scores. My parents would have loved for me to be a preacher, like my father, but that also wasn't who I was. The big mistake that we make is to believe that a profession, any profession, is the definition of who we are. The work that we do is a part of the external world and not a part of the truth. The truth is that we were created to connect with the Source and receive gifts to be used in helping others. For some, their gift is management. For others, it is preparing amazing meals. For still others, it is condensing complex ideas into something that is easy to understand and apply.
You know who you really are at your core. You know what you were created to be and to do. When you let go of the ego's need for others to be impressed, to approve of you, then you realize the amazingness of you as a creation and a creator. You are no accident. I am no accident. You have something brings joy to you as well as to those around you. That is what you were created to do. My hope for you today is that you realize that you were not an accident and that you were created to bring peace to yourself and others. When you live into your gifts, you achieve that level of peace and you create it as well. So today, go out and do what you are truly brilliant at that also helps those around you.
You are imprefectly perfect right now!
My year has kicked off and I am flying again today. I am headed out of the Austin Bergstrom International Airport and made it through security a little before 5 AM. As I was passing through the body scanner to ensure that none of my medal parts were threatening, like the 7 month old who got pulled aside right in front of me and had its hands swabbed for bomb materials (seriously), there was a rather intimidating and unhappy gentleman standing on the other side of the machine. He had a mat with the footprints on it directly in front of him and was directing people to stand on the mat to wait to see if we passed the test to fly. If you stood on the mat, you would be about 3.5 inches from his nose with your own nose. I stepped on the mat and opened my facial expression and smiled a slightly crooked smile. He then leaned to his right and looked at the screen to see if I was a threat. He leaned back into my personal space and said, "Have a nice day," with the enthusiasm and happiness of a an angry animal, upset to lose its prey.
His tactic of forcing passengers to step inside of that bubble, outside of their comfort zone, and submit to having their personal space seriously invaded was no-doubt an intimidation tactic. I watched the next 5 travelers go through the same routine until my bag and jacket made it through the magic inspector belt. One young man (probably 25 years old) looked at him and asked, "You seriously want me that close to you?" The TSA agent pointed to the mat emphatically and non-verbally insisted that the young man submit to the discomfort. This agent was taking a situation where people are already a bit nervous and doing his very best to make it worse.
When people don't feel that their persona space is respected, that don't generally get nicer, they get more tense. When they are subjected to intimidation tactics, they begin to lose respect for the intimidator. In business, as well as in personal relationships, a person's negative power only exists as long as the other person is afraid of them. It isn't respect, it is fear. The bad thing about using negative communication is that it consistently leads to people, who would otherwise be very nice, looking for any passive aggressive way to regain some dignity that they can find.
My tip to you is to respect people's personal space in communicating with them. As a general rule, an entire arm's length is required in front of you and out to a 45 degree angle. To your side, the length of your arm from your shoulder to your elbow is customary. There is no real advantage to using intimidation tactics in communication, particularly when people are under stress. In the end, it accelerates negative behaviors on the part of the person being intimidated and diminishes their respect for the intimidator. Respect people's space. Watch their reactions and adjust accordingly.
To Your Success,
Today's lesson from A Course in Miracles has to do with resting in the knowledge that everything is taken care of. We are called to rest in God. We are called to let go of the stress and the struggle that is self-imposed and allow the Spirit to guide us. To do this requires that we let go of trying to control outcomes. We must set our intentions and then work towards the goal, trusting that God has our back.
I just finished re-reading a book by Jen Sincere,titled You Are A Bada**". In this book, she talks about the way that she has learned about God, the field of all potential, and came to understand that is is loved and God has her back. She has lived in various countries, writing and waiting for where she is summoned next. When she has needed a place to live, she would set the intention, send out some messages, and rest in the assurance that it would be taken care of. When she needed to make some money, she would set the intention for how much she needed to earn and the wait for God to deliver. She always worked towards the intention, but she gave up the stressing part of whether or not it would work.
I have found that most of the stress that I have experienced in my life has been self-imposed. When I stopped wondering if the world would accept me and embraced the truth that I was already accepted, my stress went away. When I rest in the knowledge that God loves me and has my back, It becomes much easier to handle the little circumstances of life. When we rest, we are not stopping the movement of our mission. Instead, we are resting in the knowledge that everything will be coordinated, coincidences will be arranged, and life is taken care of. We are called to action. We are supposed to go and do and live and make a difference. We are not, however, supposed to sit and fret, or work and fret, or wander and fret. We are supposed to work and then rest in God's love.
So today, take a few moments and simply close your eyes, and focus on resting in the knowledge that God loves you and God has your back!
To Your Rest,
Jody N Holland
Giving and receiving are 2 sides of the same coin.
Would it be possible to give someone the top half of your half dollar coin? No without some incredible laser action going on... In Paulo Coelho's book, The Alchemist,Santiago is a young sheep herder who is trying to figure out life. He ends up on a journey where he learns "all things are one thing." Several variations of this statement are taught to him by various people. He learns to listen to the desert. He learns to listen to the wind. He learns that what he sends out into the world is what comes back to him.
For the last year, I have learned this same lesson over and over again. When I focus on anger, I see anger in return. When I focus on being hurt, then hurt is faithful in showing up. When I focus on peace, then peace is my companion. I am literally creating my world with my thoughts. My thoughts are things. They are a magnetic force that only does what it is designed to do.
Magnets don't write poetry. Magnets don't mow the yard. Magnets attract. Our thoughts are the most powerful magnets that have ever been created. When we sow peace, we reap peace. When we sew hate, we reap hate. Each thought is a vibration that is sent out into the universe. Each thought is like a pebble dropped into a pond. Negative thought operates with a specific vibrational frequency the same way that positive though operates with a different, but very specific vibrational frequency.
The people that you associate wth impact your field. When you associate with negative people, their negative energy begins to hurt your positive energy. Your positive energy begins to reshape their negative energy. The challenge is the power that exists for negative energy to slow down the vibrations of positive energy. Your best bet is to surround yourself with positive energy and peace and love. Even more importantly is to wish only peace and love and joy and happiness for others. What you desire for another person is what you desire for you. You receive that which you give.
My desire for you is that you fill yourself with love and peace. All thoughts are mingled. The more you desire good for others, the more you will receive good. I believe that completely! Today, send out positive and receive it in abundance!
To Your Success,
Jody N Holland
We get so caught up in whether or not people like us, whether or not we are making the right choices, and whether or not we will be loved. We forget the truth often and cling to the illusions. What is an illusion, but a distorted shadow of reality. It is an alternative view of what is scary instead of what is real.
When I was a boy, I was scared of what my mind would project at night sometimes. I was scared of the alternative reality that my imagination would create. The things that I imagined were not real, of course. However, they seemed very real to me. It seemed that there were monsters and demons that were after me. When the light came back on, however, all of the scary stuff disappeared.
The is the same truth for me as an adult. There are so many things that are simply a shadow of the truth and not the truth itself. The shadows are the illusions that tell us that we are not good enough, that people don;t like us, that we have to have approval. The truth is that there is no threat. We are loved. We are good enough. We are designed for greatness. Nothing that is real can be threatened. Nothing that is unreal has ever existed. The truth is that we are not condemned. We are loved.
Don't live in the shadows of reality. Live in the truth.
We live in a world that is consistently getting faster, busier, and more clouded. We live in a world that offers the illusion of peace in every ad on tv and the false beliefs of salvation if you will just have this operation, or buy this cream, and on and on. We live in a world that has lost its ability to be still and listen.
I remember a story that I read a few years back about a reporter that had tried to "trip up" Mother Theresa. She was asked if she spoke with God and she responded, "I speak with Him every day." The reporter then asked what she said when she spoke to God. She let a small smile curl on her lips and she said, "Mostly, I just listen." The reporter looked slightly puzzled and then said, "When you are listening, what does God say to you." She smiled a little more and said, "Mostly, He just listens."
I think that we do too much going and not enough simply being still and and being in the presence of Creation itself. Meditation isn't just about breathing, although that it a part of it. It is, in my experience, mostly about stopping and allowing our "Monkey Minds" to turn off and then simply listening. We don't have to listen for anything in particular. We simply have to stop and allow existence to be and for us to be a part of that being. At the end of this sentence, I want you to pause for a good 30 seconds and just breathe in and breathe out and then listen for what is around you.
It is in stillness that we can connect with the source of all creation. It is in stillness that we can be reminded that we are connected to this source and therefore connected to everything. Your power comes from simply letting go of trying to control your world and enjoying the fact that there are signs of creation all around you. My plan for today is to enjoy breathing, enjoying seeing, enjoying my heart beating, and enjoy the fact that I am alive with creation and I am a co-creator of my own existence.
Be still and listen!
Jody is a writer, motivational speaker, consultant, and entrepreneur. He has been the keynote speaker at over 250 events around the world. Jody speaks more than 150 times per year at different programs, and he has given more than 10,000 speeches during his career.