People are very seldom upset for the reasons that they first think that they are. They tend to latch on to the first justification that they can come up with to explain or rationalize the reason behind their emotions. They think that they are happy because they are in a relationship. They think that they are unhappy because they are in a bad relationship. They think they are mad because of something that happened. They think they are jealous because of the actions of someone close to them. They aren't. I have to face the same challenges as everyone else. I could switch out "they" with "I." I face those things.
If we are to be honest, we pass judgement on our situations without consideration for what is really going on. We look at some events and think that they are astronomical ideas to tackle. We look at other events and think... that's not so bad. The truth is, it isn't the events, or the people, or the circumstances that matter in the end. It is the way in which we view those things. It is our interpretation that matters. We create associations. We connect emotions to possible, or even sometimes real outcomes. It is that connection and the label that we have created that we invite to affect us.
I get upset because I have chosen to be upset. I get happy because I have chosen to be happy. I get sad because I have chosen to be sad. I then connect those emotions to specific events in order to justify the feeling. What if we didn't do that? What if we simply chose the emotion that we wanted? Is it really that hard to realize the amount of power that we have? Is it really that hard to understand that we are not angry at traffic for the reason that we think? Throughout the day, focus on detaching the connection between circumstances and emotions. Realize that you have the power to choose your emotions. You are happy or sad or angry or whimsical because that is what you have chosen. Regardless of circumstance, choose who you will be!
To Your Success,
Jody N Holland
Writer, Speaker, Entrepreneur
Jody is a writer, motivational speaker, consultant, and entrepreneur. He has been the keynote speaker at over 250 events around the world. Jody speaks more than 150 times per year at different programs, and he has given more than 10,000 speeches during his career.