I put together a group of 31 people, plus myself, to participate in a month long thought experiment. It was 32 plus me, but one person backed out after day 1 because he was too busy, LOL.
The premise behind the experiments is to see how people respond to their own thought impulses and how people around them respond differently when they intentionally direct their own thoughts. There is one new experiment per day, 5 days per week, that people will participate in. I will be writing a synopsis of results after each day is complete and the participants have shared their findings with me.
The theory is that everyone in the group will be happier, healthier, and more successful at the end of the month because they focused their thoughts in a specific positive direction, and others feel our thoughts. This premise has been presented by a number of other people, but very seldom have I seen an author discuss what people are saying. I look forward to sharing the findings with you, which will be later converted to an expanded book on the topic.
Day 1: The assignment given to the participants was to say the following once per hour... "I want the best for those around me and they want the best for me."
Going through the comments that were sent back to me, the majority of people did not say the mantra/saying every hour. Most started out with saying it for the first two or three hours and then "got too busy." Even with only saying it a few times, however, people consistently found that it reshaped the way that they looked at other people and the situations that they were dealing with. It had the greatest impact while they were actually participating and the impact diminished as they stopped focusing on the statement.
Responses such as, "It was a powerful statement, when I remembered to use it," and "It reshaped my approach to others when I was practicing saying it" and "I felt invincible and approached things with more confidence" were statements that were shared with me. On the other side of it, I also heard back things like, "I know that others don't want the best for me" and "there are just too many people that have wronged me" were also shared. The challenge that most people seem to have is in believing that others want the best for them. It is easier to see and believe that the "I" would want good for the world around us.
Going back to "The Attribution Theory" from psychology, the natural human tendency is to observe behaviors in others and then determine whether we believe them to be intentional and internally controlled our outside of their control. My observation is that we tend to assume that others have bad intentions (internal control) while we have good intentions (also internal control). This practice of stating over and over again that we want the best for the people around us and that they want the best for us is simply a way of beginning to reshape the conscious filter in the mind.
According to Dr. Richard Bandler and Dr. John Grinder, we will delete the things in life that are inconsistent with our beliefs, distort behaviors and events in order to align them with what we think they should mean, and generalize information into categories to keep them in line with our thoughts. Their research demonstrated that a person could reshape their world experience by reshaping their focus.
My assertion is that others will be much nicer to us if we believe that others are out to help us instead of out to hurt us. When we change out the lens of our perspective and focus on getting good from everyone around us, we approach them differently and they respond to our approach. Even when they are still jerks, or malicious, we won't experience it as deeply or as often because we consciously delete, distort, and generalize information that is presented to us. Day one was good in that it began to unlock in people's minds that they have a different, and better, day when they put very small amounts of effort into reshaping and consciously controlling their focus on an hourly basis.
I look forward to seeing you back here tomorrow!
To Your Success,
Jody N Holland
Author, Speaker, Trainer
Jody is a writer, motivational speaker, consultant, and entrepreneur. He has been the keynote speaker at over 250 events around the world. Jody speaks more than 150 times per year at different programs, and he has given more than 10,000 speeches during his career.