The person who conquers fear and doubt is assured of success. This was the thought that was running through my head last night as I drifted off to sleep. It was an interesting thought because I was reflecting on the number of times I have allowed fear of what others might think creep into my thoughts. I was thinking of the number of times I have doubted myself and, as a result, not taken the risk I wanted to take. I think fear and doubt suck the joy out of living and the living out of life.
How many times have you wanted to do something great, felt in your soul that you were meant for more, or simply had the desire to try something new, and then backed down? If you are like most people, you have had the "back down" experience time and time again. I think we are conditioned during our upbringing that it isn't okay to be wrong. We learn that A's are better than B's and that failing is unacceptable. We are taught that only those who make good grades and go to college will "amount to anything." A business insider article, today (January 14, 2019) just talked about how valedictorians are rarely rich or successful later in life. One of the key reasons that people fail who are very smart or talented is that they have defined those characteristics as fixed within them. This means that getting an A is the very essence of the person and they cannot survive with anything less. This leads them to try fewer things because failing at anything new might threaten their very identity. Those who succeed at the highest level are those who are not afraid to fail. In fact, the most successful people I have met actually embrace failure along the way.
On Saturday, I met Kez McCorvey at an event I was the emcee for. He talked about having a strong destination for where you want to go in life but never forgetting to embrace the struggles and the victories along the path. He said it is amazing what we accomplish on the way to our goals. I think it is amazing what we can accomplish as well. I also think the only thing that keeps us from making it down the path of success is changing our focus to what might go wrong instead of what might go right. What you focus on, expands! When you focus on your fears and doubts, they take center stage in your mind and start coming true. When you focus on that end goal and your ultimate success, you will find more success than you can imagine. Keep your focus on the possibilities of life. Conquer fear and doubt. Kick the crap out of self-criticism and live into the dreams you have in your soul!
To Your Success,
Jody Holland, M.S. Psych