Progress Over Past

I was recently reading The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People again, and one quote that stood out to me in particular was, “Yesterday holds tomorrow hostage.” What is in the past cannot be changed, so instead of dwelling on what could’ve been, we need to focus on what is and what could be. Learn from the past, acknowledge the progress you have made, but then move forward. All we can control is the present, and that helps shape a better future. 

Our experience of life is rooted in how we feel rather than what is real. When we give too much power to our emotions, especially when evaluating the past, it can lead to poor decision-making. We can learn a lot from what has happened previously, but when evaluating the past no longer serves us, it is time to let it go.

An exercise that can help your team with this is to have them imagine the past and then point in that direction. Next, have them imagine the future and point in that direction. Oftentimes, people will point behind themselves for the past and in front of themselves for the future. The reality is that the past and the future only exist in the mind. All we have is the present, and the rest is just imagined or recalled.

Memories are not physical objects, and therefore they are malleable. When we recall something, we are not playing a recording in our minds of the events that occurred. Instead, we are reconstructing the story each time we recall it. Because of this, memories can be distorted. However, this is also an adaptable quality that we possess. We are able to modify our memories based on new information.

For example, if a teacher were to give you constructive feedback on a paper that you wrote, you might be upset because you worked really hard on it. Then, in your memory, you might believe that the teacher was attacking you for your work. As you continue to learn and develop, the memory may shift from an attack to helpful insight. You now remember it as a time when you were proud of your work, but your teacher helped you improve it further because they cared about your success. This shift can occur automatically or by intention. When recalling something upsetting that happened in the past, ask yourself if you can change the story to give it new meaning.

The past is meant to serve as a reminder for the progress we have made. Appreciate how far you have come, acknowledge the lessons you have learned along the way, and use those lessons to make better choices in the present. Don’t dwell on the past because all it does is hold tomorrow hostage. Live in the moment, and shape the future you want to have.

-Meghan Slaughter