Writing Your Own Story

controlling your story perception personal responsibility self-belief self-talk Apr 23, 2024
Jody Holland Training & Speaking | Leadership
Writing Your Own Story

The story of who you are is something that only you can write. No one else can tell you who to be or what to stand for. Mentors and role models can help shape us into the individuals we become, but ultimately, we have control over what defines us. How we perceive ourselves and our self-talk are critically important.

A saying that has always stuck with me is, “Change your perception of things, and you’ll change your reality.” The mind is a powerful tool, and the lens in which we look at life through determines how we experience the world. The story that we tell ourselves creates certain feelings, and those feelings inspire our actions, which in turn lead to certain outcomes. When we want to experience a different outcome, we must first change the story that plays in our minds.

When we don’t control the narrative within ourselves, we limit our own potential. We begin to go through life thinking that our experiences happen to us instead of through us. This moves us from being the hero of our own story to someone who looks outside of themselves for factors to blame. At some point, we must recognize that we have personal agency, meaning that we are in control of our thoughts, behaviors, and actions.

It’s also important to understand that we cannot control anyone else’s story. It is up to them to assign meaning to their own experiences, but we can help them create a positive frame of reference. Someone in a leadership position has influence over those who follow them, and they are tasked with setting an example for others. By demonstrating control over their own story, they can help instill personal responsibility in those they work with, helping them take ownership of their own story too.

What is the story that you want to believe about yourself? Because only you can write that story. How do you want to be remembered by others? Lead the kind of life that your 5-year-old self would be proud of. If you are not there yet, reflect on the story you are choosing to believe, and determine if you need to re-write that story.


-Meghan Slaughter

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