Your Ego is Not Your Strategy

Whether you are the smartest person in the room, you are in a position of power, you have influence over your peers, or you just have an air of confidence, I can assure you that your ego is not an effective strategy for a successful life. Having an ego, which is a person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance, is not inherently bad. It is when your ego clouds your judgement, is inflated beyond your actual abilities, or impairs your relationships, that issues arise.

We teach people to demonstrate confidence, and while you should be confident in yourself and your professional abilities, you should not let that confidence turn into a big ego. The main difference between being confident and being egotistical is how you respond to the world around you. Someone who is confident will not shy away from challenges, and they face adversity head-on while still considering the consequences. Should they struggle to overcome a challenge, they do not give up or play the victim. Instead, they equip themselves with the knowledge and resources to be better suited for the same challenge in the future. They believe in themselves, but they can also be realistic about their own limitations.

Someone who is egotistical, on the other hand, will approach adversity with the mindset that they could not possibly fail, and if they do fail, it is not their fault. They will try to turn the situation around and get people to feel bad for them, even if their actions directly contributed to the outcome. When you put your ego first, you tend to overlook valuable feedback that could help you grow and improve. You are also more susceptible to emotional instability because when someone or something threatens your ego, you take it as a personal attack. Your position within an organization does not excuse you from taking accountability for yourself. If anything, having influence and/or authority over others suggests that you have more of a responsibility to set a positive example for others.

You can and should lead with confidence, but you should not lead with your ego. It will lead to more harm than good within your team, and it can be damaging to your relationships, as well as your reputation. Learn to let go of your ego, because growth begins where ego ends.

-Meghan Slaughter